You know this feeling? It is horrible if you can’t stop thinking about something fo maybe someone. If thisparticular thing stops you from closing your eyes … or worse, if those thoughts just keep haunting you while all you want is some sleep.
Wrote this a couple of days ago when I wasn’t feeling that well. Everyone is feeling down from time to time. And that’s ok. This makes you human after all – different feelings, different moods.
Looking at this now it still is true – I have those moments every now and then. But I also just thought about being sleepless or restless in a good way. I mean, sometimes something or someone keeps you awake because you can’t stop smiling and those happy thoughts just take away your sleep because they are even better than the sweetest dream.
Or you are just restless before a journey, anxious that you miss your flight or train, especially when you need to get up early and you are afraid you overhear your alarm (happens quite regularly to me – not actually missing the plane, but being afraid of doing so)
As life is a journey itself (very philosophic – I know) I think it just is a part of ourselves to suffer from restlesness or insomnia sometimes. Doesn’t it show somehow that we are not indifferent to the stuff happening around us or people we meet? Sometimes we just need a while to capture the impressions of the day, the big one’s as well as the small stuff …
… we’ll see how long it takes me today to fall asleep 🙂
*** Good night world ***
Ok, another post about happiness, but a different kind. The kind you can easily make yourself at home 🙂
I recall a film where a bunch of girls are bitching about boys (what else) while eating sweets and chocolate. During this conversation one of the beauties claims that there is only one thing better then chocolate: Chocolate with more chocolate!
And that is exactly what I created today: Chocolate with chocoalte and even more chocolate. And rum. 🙂
Not that I have a particular sad reason (well, I’m trying not to let me bring down by getting a year older tomorrow) but it definitely made me veeery happy. Those cupcakes basically contain of nothing but chocalate – besides some other necessary ingredients, and maybe a little too much rum (is there such a thing?) 🙂
And I noticed again how much I like baking and being creative. It has some meditating effect on me – and I am really relaxed right now.
Sadly you can’t enjoy one of my homemade muffins with me right now – but maybe there is a chance even the picture makes you smile 🙂 Anyway, enjoy the rest of your evening doing whatever makes you happy right now!
It happens that friends tell me about their problems and fears and stuff they are not happy about. I mean, this is what friends are for. To talk about stuff that troubles you (also about wonderful things, but this is not what this post is about) And I am always happy to help out – or if I can’t just to listen and comfort them.
Still, I sometimes wonder why everyone seems to be unhappy so much at the moment. Is it winter depression? Is the moon standing in a weird ancle to the other stars? Or is it just coincidence? It makes me sad that it seems to be so hard nowadays to be happy with what we have. Of course, you can’t influence everything, but still you can choose how to handle those not so fortunate circumstances. There are always to sides of the coin, and therefore to ways to look at a situation. I truly believe that the optimistic way is the right one. Even if it seems hard, it changes the way of you perception, makes you creative and let you find the metaphoric needle in the haystack. You gained two pounds? Well, it makes your butt look nicer. You are not happy with your flat? Redecorate it! Paint the walls! Find a new one! You broke up with your boy/girlfriend? There was a reason (there always is, otherwise you wouldn’t even think about it). You spend to much money on a new handbag? Well, that is a tough one … 😀 Unfortunate things happen – make the best of it, learn from it and move on. Still, never try to ignore anything on purpose, just make yourself live with it and accept the things as they are. No one has invented a time-machine (yet) to change the past (though it would be helpful in some situations). How bad it might be – there is usually one or another way to keep up with it. Trying to change or bring back the past really is a waste of time. Because as hard as it might be to accept – there just is no way. And there are ususally also so much good things to make up for all the troubles. Like an unexpected “thank you”, a nice phone call from an old friend, you finally managed to run 10 miles without diying, you found the perfect birthday gift for someone …
I had some really bad phases myself and there is stuff that troubles me right now. But somehow I always have the feeling deep down that everything will turn out well. No matter how bad it may look at first. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – right? And hopefully in my case will end up with a pay raise 😉
Btw – sorry for talking in cliches today. The thing is – they were created out of life lessons.
… and hopefully no one actually invents a time machine – there would be a lot more chaos out there!
… but some things will always stay the same.
Like this one special girl who is always there for me, no matter how challenging, awesome or crazy life might get und with whom I can always chat over a cup of coffee about literally everything. Thanks for always being there for me – even if there are 500 km between as most of the time 🙂
This cup really shows how well you know me 😉 Raise the cup to the Vienna Coffee Princess :* Or make it two, or three …
Coffee is my favourite way to trick myself into doing stuff.
Like getting up in the morning 🙂
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves
I came across this quote the other day when I was looking for something that matches my picture I took while my hiking tour last week. And it is like that … I have never thought I would like, no LOVE, hiking so much. Especially the feeling when you finally reached the top is unbelievable. It is not only that you reached the finish line, it makes you just feel awesome. And for that moment I can go hours. And the harder the climb up, the more you feel like on top of the world.
Vordere Brandjochspitze, 2558 m, View to Innsbruck
It’s the same with life. The more you struggle to achieve something, the more you admire the result. Probably not the result itself as such, but more the amazing feeling that tells you: You did it! You worked for it – and it payed off. May it be for getting yourself a long desired treat, a well done sports performance or finally getting your dreamjob. For some it is a world tour, for others it is finding the last piece to a colleciton. There are so many things worth working for. Everyone has its own goals. Sometimes you might not even know you had this goal until it is right in front of you. Sometimes you might really desire this one thing for years and it never seems to get closer. And in this very moment when reaching it, you suddenly realize you can do anything! It makes you forget everything else.
Reaching the top of a mountain, achieving any goal you desire, is never the end of something, it is just the beginning. Being on the top of one mountain makes you wanna reach even higher peaks. I really love this being-on-top-feeling (who doesn’t?) Still, for reaching the next goal you might have to take a step back, get yourself down to earth again, be happy and start over new. The next big thing is already waiting out there somewhere. There is going to be more to come – more mountains to conquer 🙂
I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way …
One thing you should probably know about the Russian WinterFairy: She loves chaos, well she can’t quite live without a little bit of mess surrounding her. There are so much more important things to take care of then cleaning up stuff.
Don’t get me wrong – I really enjoy it when everything is neatly arranged and clean and stuff. The thing is I just don’t have the talent to keep this state for long. I only feel at home when not everything is quite in place. Although some people may find it heard to believe, but I am always able to locate my mobile under piles of pillows (don’t ask me how it always gets there 😉 ) or pick my favourite hair tie out of my make-up-drawer (cause it somehow always ends up there though I can’t remember leaving it there)
This chaos-thing especially hits me when I pack for travelling. Like now. You know, there are those people who always make a list in advance and then orderly put everything in their suitcase. Very neatly. I adore those people! For real!
I mean, I have a list as well – it really does help, although I never stick to it. Because during the packing-procedure I suddenly decide to do it completely different, because suddenly I feel that I don’t actually need the red jacket but instead have to bring an extra pair of jeans, and maybe another copy book, or I am not satisfied with my joice of socks anymore. And if I do it two days in advance I will start to repack probably two times or so. For sure. And I hate this fact. Especially that I can never remember if I packed the important stuff – passport, tickets, contact lenses … – and where I put it. I will check this at least three times. Just to be sure. And because I probably forgot to cross it of my list.
You might also find a bit of this disorder in my blog. But I guess that’s just one part of me.
Yeah … it’s definitely part of the Russian WinterFairy.
So – enough sharing characteristics – the next post will hopefully contain some great Ireland memories 🙂
No pic this time … thought I had one of my classy and totally unrecognizable red suitcase with white polka dots rolling on one of those airport vehicles to the airplane at Moscow Domodedovo. But this must be lost somewhere in the chaos of my harddisk
Texting soon again